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August 9, 2010

I love your posts — I find them beautifully written, evocative, and heartfelt. I look forward to each one. — Amy L.


Wolf-GravitarCall me Wolf. That’s me and my son Nick above, looking for a white whale.

Just Add Father chronicles my approach to the problem of fatherhood. Perhaps I should say my approach to the problem of living, viewed through the lens of fatherhood. I say problem because when I was eight, my father died suddenly. As a result, a good part of my life has been defined by what was missing. The heavy lifting for me has always involved giving a shape to an invisibility.

As I begin this blog (August, 2010), Nick has just turned eight, the age I was when I lost my dad. The course of life and fatherhood, never easy, now takes a strange turn for me. With no models, Nick and I row in unknown waters. A good day is when I stop trying to right the wrongs of my childhood and instead let Nick have his.

I’m married to Nora. We’re baby boomers. We adopted Nick from birth and he’s our only child. The three of us will be anonymous here. (Wolf Pascoe is a pen name. Nora and Nick are pseudonyms.) This is why.

Every so often, a new post with a story. I like telling stories because they’re what connect us. (When the bond between heaven and earth is broken, the Baal Shem said, only a story can mend it.) The user-friendly Archives list every post title, organized by month and category.

I’m a physician, poet, and playwright living in California. Sometimes I write about my specialty, anesthesia (also under the name of Wolf Pascoe, to ensure patient anonymity). My plays and poems have been produced/published under my real name.

I’ve been fortunate, since 1984, to be in a men’s group that began after a week-long conference for men led by the poet, Robert Bly. I also attended earlier, and subsequent, conferences with Bly involving groups of men. These brought to me an awareness of a deep well of masculinity that I believe all males share. My perspective on men emerges from this. But whatever I thought I knew about fatherhood flew out the window the day Nick was born.

More on Wolf

Other writing appearing on the web:

Wolf Pascoe Word Shop–Wolf’s other website, his literary home
Wolfspeak–Wolf’s literary notebook on W.P. Wordshop

Man Person at Blog Her–what I did with 3,000 women. Featured on BlogHer.com
Why I love AudiobooksWolfspeak post featured at The Creative Penn
Going Under—what open drop ether was like. Featured in The Sun Magazine
Standing Up–guest post at Daily Plate of Crazy
4 Steps to Useful Critiques–guest post at There Are No Rules
What is it, exactly, about the F word?–guest post at Motherese, also featured at The Good Men’s Project
10,000 mistakesJust Add Father post revised and featured at Story Bleed
When children are differentJust Add Father post revised and featured on The Good Men’s Project
Of Birds, Bees, and Body Snatchers–guest post at Aiming Low
Why my son is smarter than me–guest post at The Good Men’s Project
How to Lose Your Trailer Blues–guest post at Write to Done
Music Goes to the Long Ago Brain–guest post at Undercover Soundtrack
Blessing from My Father–guest post at Daily Plate of Crazy
Conversation about Mindful Fatherhood–interview on Fatherhood Wide Open

Wolf preferences:

FavoritesJust Add Father posts I’m partial to.
Blogrollblogs I admire
Dad Resources–a curated list of resources on masculinity and fatherhood


Social Media:

WOLF ON TWITTER — I tweet, as I run across them on the web, nuggets about parenting, fathering, writing, and mindfulness, leavened with occasional humor.

WOLF ON FACEBOOK — I maintain a Facebook page, which I update with notices of my posts here, and other occasional links of interest.

SHARE — Facebook and Twitter share buttons are included after every post. If you like what you’re reading, please consider passing it on to your tribe.


SUBSCRIBE — That is, get notification of each new post either by Email or in your RSS reader. (So you’ll never miss a single action-packed episode in the amazing adventures of Just Add Father!) Your e-mail address isn’t shared with anyone, ever, and you can cancel either subscription whenever you want.

To get the update notifications, click here:EmailRSS

What’s an RSS reader anyway?

COMMENTS — I encourage, invite, bestir, and exhort you to comment on any post that has resonance for you. Express yourself! I love your comments and answer in place nearly all of them. If you’re interested in the replies to your comments, you can get email notification so you don’t have to keep checking back.


CONTACT ME privately at wolfpascoe(at)gmail(dot)com

BADGES? We don’t got to show you no stinkin’ badges…

Syndicated on BlogHer.com

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Creative Commons License

Just Add Father © 2011 by Wolf Pascoe

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